


Buggy

by outsideth3box



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 100-1000 Words, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-26
Updated: 2010-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-08 07:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outsideth3box/pseuds/outsideth3box
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh, <i>Rodney</i>!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buggy

**Author's Note:**

> This is for [](http://community.livejournal.com/slashtheimage/profile)[**slashtheimage**](http://community.livejournal.com/slashtheimage/) **prompt #004**  
> **Beta:**[](http://shaddyr.livejournal.com/profile)[**shaddyr**](http://shaddyr.livejournal.com/) who is shiny like a shiny thing  
> Wordcount: 500  
> Disclaimer: not mine, no profit, no infringement intended.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/darkhavens/pic/0017ppcw)

The mossy, hewn stone building wasn't Ancient, but looked culturally significant. A heavy door hung askew from a single hinge, leaving nothing to bar their entry. Dust, deep enough to leave footprints in, swirled into grey clouds as Sheppard took point, blinking grit from his watery eyes as the team pressed forward.

"Achoo! Aaa-choo! Oh god, this is..." McKay sniffled, rather prissily, looking around the large library. "Huh, post-apocalyptic comes to mind. Trees. Not normally indoor trappings. Place is likely crawling with vermin. Alien rat-things and book-eating bugs, tra-la!"

On the word "bugs", Sheppard ducked, eyes darting around the huge room as though expecting insectoid attack from every crevice. Catching himself, he straightened self-consciously and cleared his throat. "Probably not really, though, right?"

"What do you mean, not really? Of course, really. Booklice, silverfish, termites, even cockroaches, all eat paper and binding glue. Probably nothing left of these books but the covers."

With every word Sheppard _scrunched_ into himself just a little bit more, clutched his P90 a tiny bit closer. McKay, winding up to full pontification mode, plowed heedlessly on, hands waving trails of clarity through the floating dust.

"Of course, they'd be alien booklice and silverfish, God knows, so they probably shoot poison darts from their venom-dripping mandibles, but still, paper-eating bugs however you slice it... what's wrong?" McKay ducked a little himself and brought up his hands in a warding gesture.

Sheppard's wide-eyed stare smoothed into blankness and he abruptly turned and walked out of the building, leaving Ronon and Teyla shining flashlights into corners and Rodney blinking in his wake.

"McKay!" Ronon scowled. "Bugs?"

"Oh," Rodney scruffed his fingers through his hair. "Damn. I wasn't... I didn't mean-"

"Rodney," Teyla interrupted gently, "Just go to him."

Sighing with self-condemnation, Rodney followed Sheppard's retreating footprints and found him in the courtyard, intently surveying the surrounding foliage.

Rodney placed a hand on Sheppard's shoulder, felt it twitch at the contact. "Let's go back to Atlantis, send a crew of archeologists and anthropologists. They'll go loopy with glee. You and I can go jump in the shower."

"Poisonous silverfish?" Sheppard scrubbed at his hair, ridding himself of imaginary bug-darts, as Ronon and Teyla emerged.

"There are no bugs- look, we didn't see a single web, right? So no predator bugs means no bugs, period."

"Webs!" John gave a whole-body shudder and dry-washed his face with vigor. He leveled a narrow-eyed glare at Rodney that would have caused third degree burns in some situations, then filled Teyla and Ronon in on the plan to return to Atlantis.

Rodney reached for John's arm, only to have it yanked out of reach. "Seriously, I don't think I want you to touch me right now. Maybe later. A blowjob in the shower might be required."

"I was making it all up, John, I promise, just making noise," McKay assured, as the team started back toward the gate.

"Mandibles, Rodney. I may have to burn these clothes."

Rodney sighed, "I'll bring the lighter fluid."

"Asshole."


End file.
